


Forget Yourself

by cakecake1999



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, It’s kinda dark, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Tim Drake Has Mental Health Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-16 13:56:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29951007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cakecake1999/pseuds/cakecake1999
Summary: Tim is struggling and really should talk to someone.
Relationships: Batfamily Members & Tim Drake
Comments: 6
Kudos: 48





	1. Chapter 1

Sometimes his mind felt like a boat lost at sea, he felt so broken but he could never show anyone because they would take a way everything. Being Red Robin was all he had left, the only thing that felt real and if they knew they would take it away and try and sort him out in some pale imitation of helping, because truly was anyone in his so called family mentally well. It seemed like they were cursed from the moment the bullets had hit Thomas and Martha Wayne in that alley all those years ago.

He was the dependable one, the genius, the detective, yet here he was with one problem he couldn’t solve... himself. That’s not to say that he didn’t try, that he didn’t spend hours analysing his own mind trying to determine what was wrong so he could fix himself. But deep in his heart of hearts there was no fixing himself; no fixing how he needed to carve into himself to feel anything, to sort out his feelings, there was no fixing the urge to find his fathers old pain pills and alcohol and drown out the thoughts and there was certainly no fixing how much he hated himself. Asking for help was what people would recommend but he knew no one was able to help him.

Bruce lost touch with his emotions years ago he was a shell of man desperately searching for justice, he could not help Tim even if he wanted to and Tim knew that Bruce saw him more as a burden than a son, he was the son who had forced himself upon the man. He was the unwanted son. Dick wouldn’t help him, he had already replaced Tim with a better brother and a better Robin and even though they had sorted out those issues years ago, he had never forgot Dicks threat of Arkham and he would rather be dead than be there.

Maybe he would be better off dead, maybe they would be better off dead the only one who would truly miss him would be Alfred but he had enough to keep him busy. His friends didn’t need him he was an annoyance at most and they would get over it soon enough , they all would. He just could stop thinking, he could stop feeling and he just wanted it all to stop. He wanted to go back to being the lonely little boy who followed his idols at least then he had a family who could stand him even if they weren’t there all the time. He just couldn’t keep up with hiding how he felt all the time, he couldn't cope with hiding the scars and the anxiety and the feelings. This was the only way.

He knew what he had to do.

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

With a plan under his belt he felt lighter than he had in years, it was almost as if the worries and stresses of being Red Robin, being Timothy Drake were gone. Perhaps in a way they were, as after this he would no longer have to deal with crushing weight of everything he could finally be the Robin he was meant to be and fly.

He’d been sitting on the top of Wayne tower for a couple of hours but with his decision made he knew he needed to move quickly before he lost his nerve, he needed to make it home to get the pills and the alcohol then like an animal he could find somewhere he could peacefully die. It no longer seemed like a scary thought anymore but almost like he was off to meet an old friend and all he felt now was anticipation and a calm that enveloped him.

Getting to his nest was easy, none cared what he did with his evenings anymore as long as he was the good little soldier when he was needed. He didn’t remember the trip home well, just the feeling of freedom he felt as he flew through the air, that he would miss when he was gone. There was nothing like flying it was pure magic. Jason had been right, Robin was magic.

Surveying the mess of his apartment he toyed with the idea of writing notes but he didn’t know what he would say. How would he express to his family the depth of how much he loved them and how sorry he was that he wasn’t good enough, it would only cause them to feel guilty so instead he found a notebook, placed it on his kitchen counter and wrote a single word.

‘Goodbye’

With that done he rushed to his bedroom, changed out of his Red Robin costume and went to the safe in his closet. He got out all the pills he had securing them in his pocket; then went to grab the bottle of tequila from under his bed. He didn’t want to do it here though so he took his prizes and walked out of the door, not bothering to take keys as he wouldn’t back after all. He felt sorry for whoever would have to clean out his apartment, thinking to himself he should of cleaned up before he left, too late now though.

Now he had the means he just needed a place and he knew exactly where he wanted to go. The place he always felt safest is this cesspool of a city. The park, it would be quiet now as Ivy was in Arkham and she had always been kind to him before and even after had become Robin. She was almost like a mother to him and he wanted to be close to her in a way when he went so that where he go.

As he neared the park he took out the pills and swallowed them down with the tequila. The sharp burn of the alcohol made him feel alive which was funny. He walked in and over to a patch of grass underneath a tree that he had first watched Ivy and Batman fight all those years ago. It was perfect and exactly where he wanted to be at the end.

As time went on he felt his limbs grow heavier, the trunk of the tree the only thing keeping him upright. It was funny for so long he had wanted to be apart of Batmans world and when he had finally got in he had found so much more, he had found a family. But he knew they would carry on without him. As his eyes closed and consciousness started to escape him he heard footsteps running up to him and someone fall to their knees beside him. Then as darkness took him a voice spoke.

“oh seedling, what have you done.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was just gonna be a one chapter thing but I had this image of poison Ivy and Tim in my head and I like thinking that Ivy loves the robins as her sons and knows exactly who Batman. I don’t know if there will be anymore chapters I am incredibly bad at writing a lot. Enjoy though.

**Author's Note:**

> My mental health is in the toilet and this is my way of dealing.


End file.
